1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails


Love is patient, love is kind…

I’m patient with him and he is patient with me. I’m more difficult than what he had imagined because of my mental problems and outbursts yet he is willing to learn how to deal with me lovingly. When we disagree it’s not a fight it’s a conversation. I’m patient with him because he is an entirely different human being. I am an entirely different human being. How selfish would it be for either of us to expect everything to go the way we like it when joined together? If you can’t be patient and if you can’t be kind and if you can’t have perspective, you’ve lost the first steps to truly love.

It does not envy…

I don’t get jealous, it seems childish. There will always be beautiful women and there will always be attractive men. If you’re insecure you can’t love. You’re a fool if you and your man can’t appreciate the beauty of both sexes without having the ridiculous notion in the back of your mind “what if he wants her more than me”. Your connection isn’t true if that’s the case. There is no room for fear. That’s an issue of your self love and that’s an issue of trust.

It does not boast,

it is not proud…

I don’t want to be better than him. I don’t need to be better than him. This isn’t a competition, this is a lifelong team. I don't care how the outside world sees us. I don't care if they think we're the perfect couple, I don't care if they think we're the worst. They don't exist in our world. I root for him and he roots for me. Our love isn’t for anyone else. It’s for us. If I do something for him it’s not to say “Oh see I did this so you can see how much I love you!” That’s stupid. He knows. I know.

It is not self-seeking…

I don’t do things out of love because I think it’ll make me feel good. I don’t do things because my friends will say “Awh she loves him so much.” I do things because that’s just what love is. That’s just the weird mysterious thing love does to a person, it makes you want to better someone else’s life forever just by looking at their damn face.

It keeps no records of wrongs…

This is my favorite. It’s my favorite because people like to talk about the past. We use words like "She has too much baggage." Well let me help you carry that. People in relationships feel like they’re owed something because their partner fucked up at some point. Love keeps no record of wrongs. He loves me unconditionally. I love him unconditionally. No one gets to hold anything over our heads. Why would you do that to someone you love? You do realize you’re just as imperfect as him? We love each others brokenness because our brokenness is a part of us. 

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres...

While he builds me up, I build him up too. Which is exciting because if we’re always protecting, always trusting, always hoping and always preserving each other - there’s never that stupid push and pull. There’s no weird power struggle men and women talk about in relationships. If you’re a team you succeed together. Not just with worldly accomplishments but also internally. You build a world that can only exist between you two.

Love never fails…

I don’t falter. He doesn’t falter. I don’t throw in the towel when the butterflies go away. I don’t look for the next man when it’s made apparent he’s not perfect. And he doesn’t fail me when I become difficult, when my mind fails me and living with my mental illness becomes his problem. He does not falter. We will never fail each other. When the mushy happy sappy words aren’t around to comfort us and things become difficult or scary - we do not fail. Love does not fail.

That’s what love is.

There are so many pieces of ourselves that we hide from other people. We hide them from our parents, our friends, our bosses. We hide them from strangers, from coworkers and even from ourselves. Could you imagine, just picture, your whole naked self in front of the one you love?

And by naked I mean look past their hair, their breasts, their vagina, their soft skin. Look past their penis, past their strong chest, past their flesh. Look past all these physical things you think you have a right to just because you love this person.

Look past the body. The physical body has no representation of love. Love is not harbored in the body. Love is harbored in the soul, in the mind, in the choices you make towards your partner.

I’ve had sex with many men. I've given myself to only one.

For Zakarii, 
My best friend, my soul mate and the other half of me I have been searching for my whole life