You gotta keep your soul right man. Those are the only words I can hear in my head right now. I don’t know what’s got me thinking. Maybe it was watching that interview of me that just dropped. It was filmed this past summer in 2015 but even watching it I couldn’t believe how much I’ve changed. I cringed at parts. I guess I just have to get comfortable knowing that who I am today is not who I will be tomorrow. I mean, how can I not know that? I’ve been a drastically different person every year for almost twenty three years. Shit, it’ll be three years in a few months since I was on the streets and I’m fussing over an interview where I said some shit I don’t agree with today? It’s just different now. Every interview, every podcast, every Q&A is out there. My personality and words are documented now.
But I can’t care too much about that. I’m better off just accepting the fact I’m human too. I wouldn’t want to end up like these bitches who think their shit doesn’t stink. I’ve had to deal with too many of those since getting into this industry. So many divas. So much selfishness. So much ego. I think I’m writing this to vent a bit. I don’t care about your ego. I don’t care who you are. I’m sorry this world you’ve materialized in your head is so screwed up that you think you matter more than anyone else. It’s always the same. If they’re in porn - they’re jealous and immature towards me for no reason. What are you, seventeen years old again? I’m just out here getting my money and minding my own business. If they’re not in porn - they’re sticking their nose up at me because I suck a dick and they push pencils for a paycheck. When I say I don’t care who you are it’s not that I think less of you. You’re not laying down with me at night. You’re not collecting my rent. You’re not my friend. You’re not my enemy. You’re just a fellow human. So to all these porn girls who have a permanent dildo shoved up their asses - check your ego because we’re all in the same industry together workin’ it. And to all these fellas that think your nine to five makes you a better person - happiness is a universal emotion that not just you are entitled to. Where has mutual respect gone? I’m keeping my soul right and my house in order. Hop off my dick if I'm not getting paid for you being there.